Written reflections over Christmas

Not my Chinese family, per say, but I would say that my best,
most intimate moments over break came with my 4-year-old
 cousin, Fabrizio, and my 82-year-old grandfather, Papapa.

Written reflections - December 25, 2012 - Lima, Peru

What a gift, what a treat!

Christmas Eve with my Chinese family, my real Chinese family. It used to be a joke - my 12.5% of Chinese heritage. But not anymore!

I shook Chinese hands.
I kissed Chinese cheeks.

I know them now.
The Li family.
My family.

My Father, a pitcher of Pilsner,
and a Peru vs. Ecuador soccer match.

Written Reflections - December 27, 2012 - In a car in Peru

Time.

Time to not worry about time.

It's been a beautiful rest, this vacation. I would gift all 7 billion people on earth this sort of rest, if I could.

Written reflections - December 30, 2012 - A beach in Peru

During this evening’s sunset, I listened to Rascal Flatts. I don’t think I’ve ever appreciated country music so much as I did today. It was weird - the pure enjoyment that I found. 

Host family from last semester:
Marcos, Emilia, Jose Tomás and I, Mamá, Dad

But was it really? 

Was it really weird?

I miss that country twang, the Carrollton piece of me.

Culturally speaking, country music represents America to me - the overt yet hidden cultural piece of me that I don’t understand. My time in Ecuador and Peru has opened my eyes to my own cultural identity.

My eyes are open, but I still don’t know what I see when I look at myself.

Jarret, a dear friend, invited us for dinner at his place.
Cesar (left) and Carol (middle) are my new host parents.

An American? 

A Peruvian? 

An Ecuadorian? 
A Lutheran?

It’s just complicated. 

I fit best in Lutheran circles, but I am realizing that I no longer will fit perfectly into any box. Because slowly, surely, I am becoming Latino. 

But Lutheran and Latino don’t fit!

Salsa songs aren’t found in hymnals. 

Ají de gallina doesn’t taste like roast beef.

Soccer connects my two worlds, but in my 21 years of existence the two worlds have never felt very connected. The Peruvian, Ecuadorian side of me has always felt like the different, undiscovered part of me, whereas the Lutheran side has always represented steadfast relationships, faithful love for my family, commitment to ideals, and ultimately, a devotion to God. 

How does these two worlds mix? Or is it three? Four?

It’s so murky. 
Fuzzy, at best. 

But that’s a good study abroad experience for you.

It's a wrestling match between you and yourself. 

And other things too, like cliff jumping...